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The Treat Giver


by Uncle Bear

Mr. Jim is a fun loving senior who enjoys nothing more than producing outlandish tales. He's been building a "dog-on" tale for some time, leaving the dog owners divided on what's next?

While the humans ponder the next part of the old man's story, their pooches are straining at their leads to get to his home. They know when they arrive there will be a doggie treat awaiting them. Because dogs are far more intelligent than they are given credit for, they know to sit by Mr. Jim's chair and listen to the sounds his voice makes. Those sounds are never harsh or scolding but always gentle and filled with love. And if a treat is not produced immediately, by being patient there is always the possibility it will be doubled.

Beauty waiting for a treat
I'm waiting for a treat

When Mr. Jim was unable to buy the brand of dog treats he normally did, he purchased a different kind. Sharing the new doggie biscuits with a neighborhood dog, he would tell the animal how sorry he was that he didn't have its regular brand. Then he would launch into a spiel explaining the new doggie biscuits had been made from kitty food - all due to a manufacturing error. He would then go on to explain if the imposter doggie treats were rejected there would be no hard feelings. As soon as they were given and devoured, Mr. Jim would turn to the owner and apologize, promising to get some "genuine doggie biscuits" next time.

Due to a quirk of fate, the next time Mr. Jim shopped for dog treats he discovered he had to purchase a third brand.

Now while one of his hound-around-town friends waits for his doggie snack, the old man will commend the dog for being willing to suffer the humiliation of eating treats meant for felines. He will go on, trying to sound sorrowful, saying the treats he is now offering are actually hamster food. Once again, after the dog has gulped down the doggie biscuit, the old man will turn to the owner and promise to buy some "real doggie treats."

This leaves the dog owners divided. If Mr. Jim brings home a fourth brand of dog biscuits, will he maintain the new doggie treats are made of "birdseed"? Or "fish flakes"?

Uncle Bear is a writer and researcher in North Carolina. He can be reached through: